CW for mentions of pedophilia, zoophilia, and harassment.
Hello! This is something I've sat on, trying to word for the past few days. Hopefully, this will be worded clearly enough for people to understand what I'm saying and for those in the know to understand what exactly happened, yet vaguely enough that no one who isn't aware can immediately jump on the person I'm talking about.
(This isn't an invitation to send me screenshots of this person making a fool of itself online, btw. Genuinely, I don't want to see it. Send me pictures of Ayana Otonashi instead, if you feel so moved.)
I wasn't originally planning to post this, just keep it in my drafts and never post it to clear my brain, but two seperate people have now asked me if I'm the person he's shit-talking. I'm tired of being the bigger person and not addressing it. Seeing as how this person has decided to bitch about me publicly and identifiably enough that multiple people have recognized it, I figure it's about time to say my own side of it. If you recognize who this post is about, don't go harassing him. I'm mostly only putting this out, because again, multiple people have wondered what happened and I'd prefer people stop asking and leave me alone. I'm also hoping that, since I suspect he's been block-evading but can't say for sure, this will either get it to stop checking my accounts or get public enough about block-evading me that he digs his own grave.
This also isn't a callout post, nor is it an invitation to make one. Don't use this in a document as a source, nothing in here is worthy of a callout.
Those who know me beyond my role as the webweirdo of tsuinosora know I'm on a fairly small Matsodon instance, and they may also have noticed that on that instance, I've blocked another instance and unmutualed a bunch of accounts run by one person. If you only know me as the webmaster, you may have noticed that I removed someone from my friends page. You probably don't care too much, but you may also wonder what the fuck that's about.
I am normally chill with my friends and mutuals doing whatever, provided it's not hurting anybody. Normally, I'm pretty lazy, I don't care too much, and I'm a particularly weird person, so I'm pretty open to being friends with nearly anyone.
There are some cases, though, where I will drop you like a hot potato.
I don't like judging guilt by association. If someone is friends with someone else, that doesn't automatically mean they condone everything they do, nor does it mean that they're even aware of it.
However, it's a little bit different if you're running in a crowd where multiple people are known bad actors. As an example, if there's a table with someone who wants the right to have sex with animals and children, and they're sitting with eight other people, and your friend joins the table, you have a table with ten people who want the right to have sex with animals and children. This has only happened a few times, and normally by people who I just follow, instead of people I have any sort of rapport with. Previous times, I've simply blocked and moved on if someone I follow decides to join a crowd like that, or similar unsavory crowds. It's not worth arguing about or even opening a conversation for, since I don't know them, so for my own mental health, I normally just disengage and block.
Given that this person begged in multiple chats for some form of communication as to why everyone was softing and leaving the Matrix chat he invited someone to, someone who had hurt many people in the chat very badly previously, I decided to flat-out say why I was blocking, before blocking nearly every account this person had on multiple instances and websites, and also blocking the instance this person ran. We weren't particularly close, though I would have called him a friend if someone had asked, so I figured I'd at least give a reason why instead of silently leaving. I was not one of the people hurt by the bad actor, but I felt, and still feel, very strongly about some of the rhetoric the bad actor was spreading, and I couldn't reconcile continuing to be friends with this person with my beliefs. This wasn't just a case of "wow this person is friends with a shitty person byeeeee," it was a case of "wow this person has become friends, or at least friendly enough with, multiple people who have defended a particularly shitty person's behavior and has welcomed them onto his instance, and now he has invited the person in question to his chats and doesn't understand why people are leaving."
Sending a message was something I had weighed, and despite my misgivings, I decided it might be better to say something than to silently leave. After all, this was someone who I respected as an artist and a person, and we were friendly enough with each other that it'd be super obvious if I left without telling it. I knew I owed it nothing, but I guess I kind of figured that if I were in his situation, I would prefer being told why.
I will admit, I was blunt. However, I did not, at any point, insult this person, or imply that it was just as bad as those around him. I explained why I was blocking, explained why I didn't trust this person, told him to use that information how he would, and asked him to delete my account from his instance once it came back up, as it was down at the time. (He didn't delete my account, by the way. I deleted it myself.) I did try to make it clear that this wasn't open for debate, that nothing would have changed my mind, and that what he did from then on wasn't my business. I was not trying to convince him to reconsider its stances, because I didn't feel like that would be particularly productive. I wanted to make clear why I wasn't going to continue being mutuals with him, and communicate like he had asked. I don't feel I could have, or should have, sugarcoated why I was blocking. I think, given the circumstances, I extended as much grace as I could. He asked people leaving to communicate why, so I did.
My only regret is that I had any fucking respect for this person, because Jesus fucking Christ.
Instead of going, "huh I've been blocked everywhere by Med, maybe thon doesn't want to talk to me after saying thon wasn't comfortable remaining mutuals with me and asked me to delete thons account on my instance," this person shit-talked about me in multiple places for not communicating enough with him before blocking, whatever the fuck he meant by that, and then, about two days later, he decided to email me using the email on tsuinosora, which I saw on Thursday, because I don't check it daily.
I will not reveal the contents of the email. However, I'm genuinely unsure what he was trying to accomplish with it. It wasn't an attempt to try and actually talk to me, it was him flat-out lying to me about what had happened and trying to justify his own position. I kind of have to assume it was some sort of weird power move, to try and TRULY have the final word, to make himself feel like this ended on his own terms instead of mine. If I was even considering reaching out in the future, the email it sent swiftly quashed any chance of it.
My email back was much, much less kind than my initial message. Whether or not you personally believe my tone was justified doesn't matter, I had already made it clear that I did not want to talk to it anymore, and that my leaving wasn't up for debate. It essentially felt like I had broken up with someone, heard a pebble hit my window, and looked over to them on my lawn yelling at me. It was uncalled for, and quite frankly, I won't tolerate that bullshit.
(Also, weirdly enough, continuing to try and talk to someone when they've made it clear they have no interest in talking to you further and have blocked you everywhere is generally considered harassment. Just a fun fact!)
Anyways, given the timing, I suspect my email was the final straw for it to take an internet break. Given that the past few breaks he's taken haven't seemed to help much, I hope this one does. I hope he also leaves me the fuck alone and keeps my name out of his mouth, but hey, maybe I'm asking for too much.
Trust who you want, and believe what you will of this situation. If you think I'm a bitch? Feel free to. But leave me the fuck alone, and stop lying about what happened to further victimize yourself.